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2021.09.20 03:13 shrsham Posting here after ages. I think I am accepting it now, finally.
Vulnerability puts you at the mercy of others. Sure, you feel - the more you open up- the more you find happiness. But that just isn't true in my case. I have always been alone. It is my constant states of being and I enjoy my own company. I have no intention of letting someone in and watch helplessly as they smash everything to pieces with no regrets or remorse. I have made that mistake once. I remember sobbing into my pillow late at night. I remember gasping for breath and hiccupping for a moment of relief as an unknown pain just ripped through my heart. For someone who is a cynic - who does not believe in love stories or happily ever after's- I loved so damn hard. It took me 1 month of tears - so many tears, sleepless nights, anxiety, nervousness, panic attacks to get used to a life without him. I can go on and on about how he mistreated me but I found it doesn't make a difference in the amount of pain. It doesn't help me move on. All that just makes me lose confidence in myself. He chose someone over me and that shattered my self-esteem. There was a moment in time when I wanted to end it all. It wasn't him - just the pain was so unbearable. I felt hopeless, I felt used, I hated my own skin, I felt so pathetic. I still hate myself for falling for him tbh. I don't think that will ever change. The friends that I ignored for him became my strength. All of them were there - helping me every second of every day - listening to me whine, crying on calls, sobbing to them that I want, no, NEED him back. That I will forgive everything just to have him be with me. It hurt them to see me that way but they stayed - even at my worst. So I realized why am I crying so much for someone who literally doesn't care if I live or die. And these amazing people here, who just want me to be happy - I have never paid attention to. So I made a decision that it doesn't matter what happened. If he is happy then good for him. I am not spending a second of my life on that piece of crap human. I am moving on - I hate that term - it means I am skipping from one person to another and if I do that all I am doing is acting like him. BUT I am moving on from him to be with myself.
It took hard work and actively pushing myself to not think, not expect an apology or reconciliation. He made a choice to leave me so I made a choice to delete him. He taught me a lesson and while I am grateful for that - I do NOT need him in my life. I do NOT want him in my life. Fast-forward to a month later (reason why I am writing this here) - He texts me again. Its a passive aggressive text - a general greeting. Surprisingly all I felt was a wave of anger and disgust. This person who is supposedly with someone decides to hit me up (for whatever reason, I don't even care anymore) & tries to talk as if nothing ever happened, as if everything is okay and as if HE IS THE VICTIM. So I nicely told him to please fcuk the heck off. I am done with you. I feel relieved but it still scares me that when I saw him pop up - for a second, a brief tiny macro-second I was happy because in my head he was back. I have no intention of letting that happen.
[Thanks for making it this far. I've never posted anything this long. But I felt like venting..sorry to take up so much space. This community has been really helpful to me. I have found some reddit friends too - who have gone through heartbreaks and they actually understand how it all feels. If you are stuck like me, hold on just a little more. It gets better. :)]
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2021.09.20 03:13 AGooDone Horrific officiating
The officials should be dragged over the coals. I do hope there are some reviews and in depth questioning.
You overruled an on field call of a touchdown... Because a heel
didn't go in touched the line but the toe was in bounds You let an intentional grounding/safety go to the 1/2 yard line. You gave a ridiculously generous arm stretch a first down. But overruled an on field touchdown because Henry's forearm wasn't over the line.
NFL, your officials are so bad they're indistinguishable from corrupt. Everyone makes a questionable call now and then. But when it's over and over in the same game, someone might get an idea. Might make a supposition.
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2021.09.20 03:13 VTthang FIRST TIME TOP 3 LOL
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2021.09.20 03:13 TheRealGVakarian Asari redesign/ what Asari may truly look like - by Machinedoggerism on tumblr, whose account no longer exists, however I will leave a link to the original post, which does still exist, in the comments.
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2021.09.20 03:13 InvincibleIbex Why $IRNT, $OPAD, and $TMC didn't infinity squeeze 9/17
Recently, I got fucked on the latest meme run, so I thought I'd try to figure out where I (and the other bonobos) went wrong. Not saying this is right because my IQ is in the double digits and divisible by 38, but here goes. If this is wrong, please offer insight as I do want to understand my mistakes.
Anyway, here are some quick thoughts on $IRNT, $OPAD, and $TMC. If you're like me, you might have thought they would moon on 9/17, as MMs would be forced to buy millions and millions of shares. After actually learning something about options, I came to realize why this wasn't the case. The part of the DDs that mentioned the low floats due to redemptions and lockups were solid, but the notion that MMs would suddenly have to buy millions of shares was in a lot of cases just wrong. As an example, let's say IRNT was trading at $25 on 9/15 and the open interest for the 15C 9/17 options was 15k. People might quickly cite this as a reason the stock will moon. MMs have to buy 1,500,000 shares in a day and if we hold all the shares, they are screwed. This ignores the crux of delta hedging. When an option is at the money, it has a delta of ~0.5. This means that if you sold an ATM call, you'd need roughly 50 shares in order to be delta neutral. Delta neutral simply means that you are not making or losing money. The problem is that delta isn't fixed. If that option had a gamma of 0.1, for example, then as the shares gained a dollar, the option writer would be forced to buy another 10 shares, as the delta would now be at ~0.6. This is in contrast to simply not buying anything, then being forced to buy shares 9/17.
The problem is, people seemed to not be realizing that the shares needed to hedge the calls sold were already held. If you bought an ATM option on 9/14 for IRNT at market open, that call quickly became in the money. As such, MMs quickly bought up shares to remain delta neutral. If the call you bought had a $20 strike, once the stock started to moon to $30 or even higher, the delta becomes so close to 1 that MMs probably already owned the full 100 shares to cover that call. So when the apes (myself included) started clamoring and flinging their shit about how the "MMs have to buy millions of shares" they were largely wrong. The shares for those underlying calls were already owned. The only part that confuses me is what would happen if IRNT closed above $45. As I understand it, that would have put the total open interest larger than the actual float. I'm assuming the only way that could happen is if people were using spreads?
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2021.09.20 03:13 v0id_st4r Aborted Entoloma. Dakota County, Minnesota.
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2021.09.20 03:13 EstateLow3013 H: B5025 Hm, BE15v Hm, AAE 50. Cal, TSE 50. Cal, ExeFFR15v Hm, VE fixer,etc. W: Explosive Radium Rifle
2021.09.20 03:13 abcmatteo Current armory. Yes there is a gutted demolished in that pink box. Two talon claws being built and a grass snake also in progress. Plus a shield that needs a bunch of work.
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2021.09.20 03:13 burningpixies freeze dried strawberries are so good i lovw them sm.. they make me cough sm though i hate that
2021.09.20 03:13 newsfeedmedia NYPD investigating cop seen in video riding on back of illegal dirt bike days after crackdown
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2021.09.20 03:13 E-catherine Pendant, Emily, resin, 2021
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2021.09.20 03:13 K1ockwork Riding this rollercoaster to the moon 🎢🚀🌚
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2021.09.20 03:13 dont_ban_me_please If you haven’t worked in an office that had a conference room called “The Fishbowl”, have you even lived?
2021.09.20 03:13 Cheap_District_9762 How to create an artificial language, like Espenrato for example?
2021.09.20 03:13 improcrastinatinglol You know what to do.
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2021.09.20 03:13 newsfeedmedia Fake championship rings which would have been worth $2.38 MILLION if real are intercepted from China
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2021.09.20 03:13 Chr6nic Yeat taught me his ways 🙌
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2021.09.20 03:13 thatguywithaleg I just poured a gallon of milk in the ocean. You lactose intolerant bozos think the water safe to drink?😹😹
2021.09.20 03:13 Ahahha123542111111 Who thinks Rilla Roo's green skin is based on the hulk?
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2021.09.20 03:13 nycmilkshake Is this roach droppings? (From dishwasher control circuit board)
2021.09.20 03:13 po00fs guy with long dirty blonde hair and is a rapper
I found you on ome.tv actually, and Im the girl with the red lights and dark makeup, I told you that you reminded me of Jack Harlow (personality wise). I hope you go as far as searching a reddit forum to find me or else I'm just being a weirdo atm.
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2021.09.20 03:13 lirecela Yo mama so fat...
2021.09.20 03:13 Grootdrew Deeper by Self Sabotage - LA heavy rockers! These dudes kill live
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2021.09.20 03:13 AttackOnElderTitan I love all of you
Whether you are good or bad, you are a part of humanity and therefore you are me and therefore i love you. I wish myself in all the different forms to find happiness. Best wishes from yourself in a different human.
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2021.09.20 03:13 Glensopher Which one of you was this lolz